"Ka-boom!," the Countdown and Prayer

Friday was not what I had expected or wanted. I had envisioned a beautiful hour ice dancing with my 'Prince Charming' pro-partner, Coach Chris. Oft times what we envision turns out to be just that - an image of the impossible.

I'll spare Dear Readers the details of the traffic jam on the 9:30 am freestyle session. I've beat that one into the ground, I believe. Suffice it to say, the rink is at its all time fever-pitch. Thank goodness Friday was the last practice day for me (at Skatetown at least) before Worlds.

Coach Chris arrived and we spent some much needed time talking about how to manage competition jitters. He is wise beyond his 27 years, likely the result of having some excellent coaches in the many years he has been skating. He provided me with some excellent advice, which I will try very hard to put into practice on performance day. Then, we got started, initially working on entrances, presenting, and exits. Seems simple; it's not.

Finally got down to business with the Hickory Hoedown. Dance went well. Coach Chris gave me a fab tip about the end-pattern three turn. He said to think of it as a breath. As I tend to completely hold mine when I do the turn, exhaling while executing was a stroke of brilliance. Worked like a charm. He was happy with the dance, but we worked on the end pattern a couple of times, including one when another young ice dance couple nearly clipped us, I leaned way too far into the circle, and we nearly went down. Avoided this one by a hair.

Next on to the Willow Waltz. I had worn my blue dress from China to see what it felt like doing the Willow in it. It's perfect, I am happy to say. We started the dance with a left, right, swing roll, drop three, then moved into the back progressives. Suddenly, "Ka-boom!" - we were both down on the ice. The fall was hard for us both. At first, I was more worried for Coach C than myself because his fall sounded quite hard. Then, I realized that I felt the impact from my bumm right up through my spine into my neck. My first thought was "Oh *S _ _ _*, this is it - major injury time again. It wasn't like my life passed before my eyes in slow motion, but I knew this wasn't a good thing. We picked ourselves up, Coach Chris dusted the ice (there was plenty) off his pants, we made certain we were o.k., then determined the problem - I flexed on the back progressives instead of pointing the toe. What a skating idiot I can be some times! Identifying the problem corrected it immediately. We did two patterns of the dance and Coach C gave me feedback on the drop three (even said it was *good*). I was feeling pretty shaky still wondering if I was going to have a delayed reaction to the fall. Later that day, I was very stiff, sore, and somewhat worried. Even as of today (Sunday), I still have residual pain, but nothing I can't handle. So glad my ice angel was looking out for me!

So, it's now only a matter of hours until I leave for San Jose. Because I was House Manager at the Magic Circle's production of "Cinderella" (very sweet and well done) on Saturday, I had some time during the show for reflection on Worlds, since the House Manager doesn't actually get to be in the theatre, rather we are stuck in the lobby area :( I couldn't help but wonder if going to Worlds is one of those ultimate acts of selfishness, in the face of danger. I asked myself how I would feel if something really bad happened to me and Dear Husband was stuck having to take care of me. Frankly, I didn't like the answer. This is all pretty hard for me. I feel pretty darn conflicted now, 24 hours before the big adventure begins. Was I in love with the notion of Worlds, but not the reality (the money spent, the hysteria of other skaters that rubs off on me, the endless practice to the detriment of doing anything else in my skating, the near abandonment of my responsibilities to Dear Husband and pets, my friends, my extended family, the lack of time to quilt, read, go to the movies, the absence from my home, husband and doggies for a week, etc., etc)? Will it all be worth it? Let's hope so.

I had a wonderful conversation with my best skating buddy on Friday. She was the wise-woman who is not going to Worlds. We are in the same place at this point with our skating, I believe. She described her feelings as being very Zen-like. I could not have expressed it better. In light of world and personal events, I have come to realize that in the larger scheme of things, the real value of doing anything other than being in my own skating space at this point in my life is marginal at best and not worth the effort, time, and expense. The only aspect of skating I will continue to pursue will be to test my ice dances. I like testing, always have. It's not the same experience as competing at all. It's a much better way to set goals and assess your progress also.

So, today is filled with many tasks to get ready to go. I will end this missive with the following:

Dear Lord, I ask that you watch over me while I am at Worlds. Please send your angels to protect me while I am on the ice. Give me your Grace and strength to stay calm. Help me enjoy this event and understand the proper perspective of what I am doing. Understand that I am skating one program to honor your Son and give me the ability to express my feelings in a way that recognizes the greatest sacrifice of all time. Protect and watch over my wonderful husband and dogs, Merln and DeeDee, while I am away from our home. Thank you for the gift of being able to skate and participate in this event and bring me home without injury. Amen.