"Do You REALLY Want to Know?"

Yesterday at the rink I encountered a skating buddy of mine who happened to be on the ice whilst I was testing recently. I made the mistake of asking her how she thought I really did skating my test program. She hesitated, so I said, "No, really, I respect your opinion and I want to know how I can improve." BIG mistake on my part. To wit, don't ask the question unless you are genuinely interested in an honest, no-sugar-coated-answer, which apparently I wasn't because I left feeling pretty deflated. No fault of hers, BTW. I got exactly what I asked for. But "Yes," the bloom is definitely off the rose now. 

Here is what she told me with my corresponding editorial comments:

1.  "You hesitated on your Mohawks." 

My editorial: OMG, did I? I thought they were much better. Aren't they, Coach?

2. "You were tentative on your 3-turns."

My editorial: Same as above. Maybe one of them in particular coming out of the forward cross-strokes because the position is awkward unless you are turned completely to the boards for the 3-turn.

3. "I didn't see that big, definitive swoop from edge-to-edge in the dance step sequence."

My editorial: I didn't know I was supposed to produce a huge sweeping swoop. I thought it was supposed to be more subtle than that. Checked with Coach who confirmed that subtle is good, indiscernible is not. Mine was somewhere in between probably.

4. "The half-Lutz wasn't a clean outside edge."

My editorial: I have no idea if it was or wasn't. I've slept since then!

5.  "Ballet jump wasn't big enough."

My editorial: Apparently this was true because I received my lowest score ("6") for this element. This is already much improved.

Stop! Stop! I had heard enough. Before she noted any more "challenges," I decided to slink/glide off and practice the above. But, before I left, I had to ask, "Well, was there anything I did well?" She replied:

1. "You really covered the ice from end-to-end." 

My editorial: Yep, I sure did. I learned a long time ago that end-to-end coverage is really important. Dead giveaway of the new adult skater is a pattern that barely exceeds the inside circle. 

2. "Your spirals were excellent and beautiful."

My editorial: These are my favorite part of the program. This is the "taking flight" element. I've been blessed with strong spirals, although my inside edge spiral needs work on getting the leg higher. 

3. "You were smooth and seemed confident."

My editorial: I agree (and so did the judge) that the program was smooth. As for seeming confident, that's because I was enjoying the moment;everything else just melted away.

At this point, since she hadn't mentioned anything that sounded remotely like "OMG, you did "x" just fabulously!" it really was time to skate. Was this an escape from the fear that she would go back to "And another thing . . . " that I didn't do well?" Very likely.

This incident highlights one of the strange things about skating, at least for me and for some other adult skaters I know. We want acknowledgment from our skating peers. I can write all day about how after my accident I decided that if I ever could skate again I would be out there only for myself (which is, in the greatest part, the absolute truth), but there is this small part of me that wanted to hear from my friend that I skated like Peggy Fleming did in her day. I know, my friend knows, my Coach knows, my other skating buddies know that I don't skate like Peggy Fleming ("Ah duh!"). But it's the fantasy of what we skate like is part of what keeps us returning to the ice, even in the face of stark reality. 

In that one moment when I was flying across the ice in my change edge spiral, with my arms extended like a graceful crane in flight (even though I think Coach thinks I look more like an aircraft making a sharp bank), I felt like Peggy Fleming and it was wonderful! 

Every now and then I need a reality check, but I also want to hold on to the vision I have for my skating. So what's next? Working on the things that my friend pointed out needed improvement and improving my two programs because my dream is to come in first in my category at Worlds - and I'm going for it. Onward! 

Today is a big quilting day. I can luxuriate all day as I begin a new piece. Next skating day is this Friday, which I am so looking forward to.