"All Shook Up"

I am having fun clogging with the members of Traveling Shoes. 


Here is a link to a number they did last year to Elvis (who else, of course?) singing "All Shook Up." Isn't this the cutest program? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=b8nIj8Y0Yc0#at=56


Note to self: Must, must, must practice more at home!


Am attending a clogging workshop this Saturday sponsored by AfterShock, a clogging performance team in Sacramento. Met two of their members at clogging class on Tuesday. Very nice women who encouraged me to go to every clogging workshop within driving distance. They said that's what they did when they first started clogging.


Today, I go to the beginner's clogging class, then stay for part of the intermediate class. Have a medical procedure tomorrow so have to come home early to start prepping for it. Wish this event was an April Fool's trick, but not so. If it saves me from health issues down the road, it's important to do. Oddly enough, my college roommate is having the same procedure tomorrow. What are the chances of that happening? We are going to send positive energy to each other!

Embrace These Sentiments Today and Always

I posted this so I will always have a reference point when I start to stray from my core beliefs. I hope the words are helpful to you, Dear Readers.


"May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget  the infinite possibilities  that are born of faith in yourself and others.  May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

Merlin Waiting at The Rainbow Bridge

One of the women on the clogging performance team I joined created this picture of Merlin at The Rainbow Bridge.


An amazing aspect of kindness is that it is often completely unexpected. This beautiful memory is an example of just that.


I have only known Linda for a very short time. Among other things, she is a fabulous clogger, but her compassion, caring and sensitivity are what I will always appreciate more than anything.


Just when you think your heart is broken beyond repair, something happens that helps you know that you will go on, that life will get better and that people genuinely care. Through Merlin's passing, we have been reminded of this by the actions and words of so many people, Linda being one of them.


John Dunne wrote, "No man is an island." When we feel most alone and isolated, we find ourselves surrounded by others who prop us up, help us out, and mend our injured hearts and souls. This is one of the miracles of friendship.


To everyone (especially Janet, Maddie, Linda, Drs. Bittacker and Spann) who has been there for Ken and me during this difficult time - and who will, I know, continue to be present in our lives - bless you for reaching out to us. You will never know how much it means to us. 


Onward, in the comfort of family, friends and, of course, our beautiful girl, DeeDee, (see picture below), without whom our house would not be a home. 

Loving Merlin, Losing Merlin

Merlin Lancelot O'Brien 
Went to The Rainbow Bridge March 15, 2011
He was our hero.

This week, we said good-bye to our magnificent Collie boy, Merlin. Right now, it feels like the pain will never end. A friend told me that when you release a dog from his suffering, you take the pain away from him and put it on yourself. 


Merlin came to us from NorCal Collie Rescue, nearly one year to the day after we had rescued DeeDee (in background) now an 8-year old female. We had been contacted by NorCal asking us to meet Merlin. It was just before Christmas 2006. 


The home were he was being fostered had many other animals, including many dogs. Merlin looked so sad, his head down, his coat suffering from a very poor grooming. He walked slowly amid what seemed like chaos. He wasn't overly friendly, maybe more shell-shocked than anything else as he had just arrived at the foster home. I'm sure he was a little tentative about the one-horned goat and miniature horse. 


For Ken, it was love at first sight. After some discussions with the foster Mom, we agreed to adopt Merlin. I suggested that we wait a week before we brought him home, until after Christmas, then come and get him. Ken said, "I think we should take him now." And we did. Three days later I fractured my back ice skating and spent two months immobilized, with minimal activity. The irony of the situation is that if we hadn't taken Merlin that day, it's likely we would not have had the honor of being his human parents.


This week, we made the heartrending decision that it was time to put Merlin to sleep. If you have never gone through this experience with a pet, it's difficult to communicate what it is like. Would that we could all avoid having to make this decision for our beloved pets, but in the end, we must know - as one of Merlin's vets told us - that we gave Merlin another kind of gift, the gift of freedom from pain and suffering.


Loving Merlin was so easy. He needed much, due to health issues, but never asked for anything. Losing him was excruciatingly painful, as it continues to be. I've never had a dog (and I have had many) who had a world of wisdom, along with a world of sorrow, in his eyes. I miss those eyes more than I can express. This kind of pain goes down to the bone. Only time will heal us, along with the love and support of our family and friends. 


Ken wanted to let the people at NorCal Collie Rescue know about Merlin's passing. He wrote an amazing tribute. There are no more beautiful words about Merlin than those Ken wrote. While reading his communique makes me cry, I am so proud to have a husband who feels so deeply about his dogs. Here is Ken's letter:

"As you recall, Merlin had some problems with his hips and legs and over the years those issues got worse.  But with exercise, sun shine,  rest, good food, medications and love we were able to control his discomfort.   Karen took him and DeeDee out for walks in our beautiful neighborhood every day that the weather cooperated and Merlin couldn't wait.  Sadly, in the last few months, his hip and other pains became such that he couldn't lie down anywhere except in the big soft bed we got for him.  He also began showing some signs of confusion.  As his two regular vets both told us, he was an elderly gentleman, and they each estimated his age at between 13 and 15 years.

The last few months were very tough for him.  He couldn't get up without effort, paced a tremendous amount of the time he was awake, and was in obvious distress.  He also would have terrible incidents where he stumbled and couldn't get up or walk.  Despite those troubles, he smiled every time he saw us, walked right over to us when we were drinking our coffee or reading the paper, and firmly pushed his nose against our hands to tell us "Hey, it's time to love me and rub me!"

This past Tuesday he woke us at midnight with a terribly painful sound.  He was on the floor and couldn't get up and we had to help him with a sling around his tummy.  I won't go into details because the pain is still too fresh in our hearts.  But we knew it was time to end his suffering.

We took him to his vet of all these years who cried as much as we did as we took the step of stopping his pain and ending his suffering.  She made an amazing statement.  You will both recall that before we got DeeDee, we have had Samoyeds.  Our last Sammie was a "once in a lifetime dog" named Henry.  Our vet is the one who described him that way.  Well, as she was crying and preparing to end Merlin's suffering, she said that Merlin had had "some very big shoes to fill," referring to Henry, and said that she was amazed at what he (Merlin) had been able to do to heal our hearts.  Then he was no longer suffering and he went to the Rainbow Bridge where we know he's running free of pain and where we know he'll be waiting for us to join him.

Karen told me something last night that I didn't know.  A few years ago she started calling Merlin by a longer, richer name:  Merlin Lancelot O'Brien.  I thought it was very sweet but didn't know why she picked the Lancelot name, although of course Merlin was exceedingly handsome.  She told me last night that she named him that because, as Lancelot had done with Lady Guinevere, Merlin  had "won her heart" wholly, deeply and completely.

As a present to me, Karen recently had an artist do an oil paint portrait  of Merlin based on a photo I took.  The photo is attached and you can plainly see Merlin's love, strength of heart and intelligence in the picture.  We are taking the portrait out today to have a frame made for it and I'll send along a photo of it when it joins the portrait of Henry that we have, and also the painting of our first Sammie, Winston.

Well there isn't much else to say other than to thank you for the love you gave to him and for bringing him into our lives.

I'll close just be adding that I can also truly say of Merlin that he too was a "once in a lifetime dog."

We thank God for giving us the privilege of loving Merlin. In his life, he taught us much about living with dignity, grave and courage.  Go with God, Merlin, and be at peace.